SUBSECT I.—Cure of Jealousy; by avoiding occasions, not to be idle: of good counsel; to contemn it, not to watch or lock them up: to dissemble it, &c.

As of all other melancholy, some doubt whether this malady may be cured or no, they think 'tis like the [6169]gout, or Switzers, whom we commonly call Walloons, those hired soldiers, if once they take possession of a castle, they can never be got out.

Yet what I have formerly said of other melancholy, I will say again, it may be cured or mitigated at least by some contrary passion, good counsel and persuasion, if it be withstood in the beginning, maturely resisted, and as those ancients hold, [6171]the nails of it be pared before they grow too long. No better means to resist or repel it than by avoiding idleness, to be still seriously busied about some matters of importance, to drive out those vain fears, foolish fantasies and irksome suspicions out of his head, and then to be persuaded by his judicious friends, to give ear to their good counsel and advice, and wisely to consider, how much he discredits himself, his friends, dishonours his children, disgraceth his family, publisheth his shame, and as a trumpeter of his own misery, divulgeth, macerates, grieves himself and others; what an argument of weakness it is, how absurd a thing in its own nature, how ridiculous, how brutish a passion, how sottish, how odious; for as [6172]Hierome well hath it, Odium sui facit, et ipse novissime sibi odio est, others hate him, and at last he hates himself for it; how harebrain a disease, mad and furious. If he will but hear them speak, no doubt he may be cured. [6173]Joan, queen of Spain, of whom I have formerly spoken, under pretence of changing air was sent to Complutum, or Alcada de las Heneras, where Ximenius the archbishop of Toledo then lived, that by his good counsel (as for the present she was) she might be eased. [6174]For a disease of the soul, if concealed, tortures and overturns it, and by no physic can sooner be removed than by a discreet man's comfortable speeches. I will not here insert any consolatory sentences to this purpose, or forestall any man's invention, but leave it every one to dilate and amplify as he shall think fit in his own judgment: let him advise with Siracides cap. 9. 1. Be not jealous over the wife of thy bosom; read that comfortable and pithy speech to this purpose of Ximenius, in the author himself, as it is recorded by Gomesius; consult with Chaloner lib. 9. de repub. Anglor. or Caelia in her epistles, &c. Only this I will add, that if it be considered aright, which causeth this jealous passion, be it just or unjust, whether with or without cause, true or false, it ought not so heinously to be taken; 'tis no such real or capital matter, that it should make so deep a wound. 'Tis a blow that hurts not, an insensible smart, grounded many times upon false suspicion alone, and so fostered by a sinister conceit. If she be not dishonest, he troubles and macerates himself without a cause; or put case which is the worst, he be a cuckold, it cannot be helped, the more he stirs in it, the more he aggravates his own misery. How much better were it in such a case to dissemble or contemn it? why should that be feared which cannot be redressed? multae tandem deposuerunt (saith [6175]Vives) quum flecti maritos non posse vident, many women, when they see there is no remedy, have been pacified; and shall men be more jealous than women? 'Tis some comfort in such a case to have companions, Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris; Who can say he is free? Who can assure himself he is not one de praeterito, or secure himself de futuro? If it were his case alone, it were hard; but being as it is almost a common calamity, 'tis not so grievously to be taken. If a man have a lock, which every man's key will open, as well as his own, why should he think to keep it private to himself? In some countries they make nothing of it, ne nobiles quidem, saith [6176]Leo Afer, in many parts of Africa (if she be past fourteen) there's not a nobleman that marries a maid, or that hath a chaste wife; 'tis so common; as the moon gives horns once a month to the world, do they to their husbands at least. And 'tis most part true which that Caledonian lady, [6177]Argetocovus, a British prince's wife, told Julia Augusta, when she took her up for dishonesty, We Britons are naught at least with some few choice men of the better sort, but you Romans lie with every base knave, you are a company of common whores. Severus the emperor in his time made laws for the restraint of this vice; and as [6178]Dion Nicaeus relates in his life, tria millia maechorum, three thousand cuckold-makers, or naturae monetam adulterantes, as Philo calls them, false coiners, and clippers of nature's money, were summoned into the court at once. And yet, Non omnem molitor quae fluit undam videt, the miller sees not all the water that goes by his mill: no doubt, but, as in our days, these were of the commonalty, all the great ones were not so much as called in question for it. [6179]Martial's Epigram I suppose might have been generally applied in those licentious times, Omnia solus habes, &c., thy goods, lands, money, wits are thine own, Uxorem sed habes Candide cum populo; but neighbour Candidus your wife is common: husband and cuckold in that age it seems were reciprocal terms; the emperors themselves did wear Actaeon's badge; how many Caesars might I reckon up together, and what a catalogue of cornuted kings and princes in every story? Agamemnon, Menelaus, Philippus of Greece, Ptolomeus of Egypt, Lucullus, Caesar, Pompeius, Cato, Augustus, Antonius, Antoninus, &c., that wore fair plumes of bull's feathers in their crests. The bravest soldiers and most heroical spirits could not avoid it. They have been active and passive in this business, they have either given or taken horns. [6180]King Arthur, whom we call one of the nine worthies, for all his great valour, was unworthily served by Mordred, one of his round table knights: and Guithera, or Helena Alba, his fair wife, as Leland interprets it, was an arrant honest woman. Parcerem libenter (saith mine [6181]author) Heroinarum laesae majestati, si non historiae veritas aurem vellicaret, I could willingly wink at a fair lady's faults, but that I am bound by the laws of history to tell the truth: against his will, God knows, did he write it, and so do I repeat it. I speak not of our times all this while, we have good, honest, virtuous men and women, whom fame, zeal, fear of God, religion and superstition contains: and yet for all that, we have many knights of this order, so dubbed by their wives, many good women abused by dissolute husbands. In some places, and such persons you may as soon enjoin them to carry water in a sieve, as to keep themselves honest. What shall a man do now in such a case? What remedy is to be had? how shall he be eased? By suing a divorce? this is hard to be effected: si non caste, tamen caute they carry the matter so cunningly, that though it be as common as simony, as clear and as manifest as the nose in a man's face, yet it cannot be evidently proved, or they likely taken in the fact: they will have a knave Gallus to watch, or with that Roman [6182]Sulpitia, all made fast and sure,

she will hardly be surprised by her husband, be he never so wary. Much better then to put it up: the more he strives in it, the more he shall divulge his own shame: make a virtue of necessity, and conceal it. Yea, but the world takes notice of it, 'tis in every man's mouth: let them talk their pleasure, of whom speak they not in this sense? From the highest to the lowest they are thus censured all: there is no remedy then but patience. It may be 'tis his own fault, and he hath no reason to complain, 'tis quid pro quo, she is bad, he is worse: [6183]Bethink thyself, hast thou not done as much for some of thy neighbours? why dost thou require that of thy wife, which thou wilt not perform thyself? Thou rangest like a town bull, [6184]why art thou so incensed if she tread, awry?

Ea semper studebit, saith [6186]Nevisanus, pares reddere vices, she will quit it if she can. And therefore, as well adviseth Siracides, cap. ix. 1. teach her not an evil lesson against thyself, which as Jansenius, Lyranus, on his text, and Carthusianus interpret, is no otherwise to be understood than that she do thee not a mischief. I do not excuse her in accusing thee; but if both be naught, mend thyself first; for as the old saying is, a good husband makes a good wife.

Yea but thou repliest, 'tis not the like reason betwixt man and woman, through her fault my children are bastards, I may not endure it; [6187]Sit amarulenta, sit imperiosa prodiga, &c. Let her scold, brawl, and spend, I care not, modo sit casta, so she be honest, I could easily bear it; but this I cannot, I may not, I will not; my faith, my fame, mine eye must not be touched, as the diverb is, Non patitur tactum fama, fides, oculus. I say the same of my wife, touch all, use all, take all but this. I acknowledge that of Seneca to be true, Nullius boni jucunda possessio sine socio, there is no sweet content in the possession of any good thing without a companion, this only excepted, I say, This. And why this? Even this which thou so much abhorrest, it may be for thy progeny's good, [6188] better be any man's son than thine, to be begot of base Irus, poor Seius, or mean Mevius, the town swineherd's, a shepherd's son: and well is he, that like Hercules he hath any two fathers; for thou thyself hast peradventure more diseases than a horse, more infirmities of body and mind, a cankered soul, crabbed conditions, make the worst of it, as it is vulnus insanabile, sic vulnus insensibile, as it is incurable, so it is insensible. But art thou sure it is so? [6189]res agit ille tuas? doth he so indeed? It may be thou art over-suspicious, and without a cause as some are: if it be octimestris partus, born at eight months, or like him, and him, they fondly suspect he got it; if she speak or laugh familiarly with such or such men, then presently she is naught with them; such is thy weakness; whereas charity, or a well-disposed mind, would interpret all unto the best. St. Francis, by chance seeing a friar familiarly kissing another man's wife, was so far from misconceiving it, that he presently kneeled down and thanked God there was so much charity left: but they on the other side will ascribe nothing to natural causes, indulge nothing to familiarity, mutual society, friendship: but out of a sinister suspicion, presently lock them close, watch them, thinking by those means to prevent all such inconveniences, that's the way to help it; whereas by such tricks they do aggravate the mischief. 'Tis but in vain to watch that which will away.

Argus with a hundred eyes cannot keep her, et hunc unus saepe fefellit amor, as in [6191]Ariosto,

Hierome holds, Uxor impudica servari non potest, pudica non debet, infida custos castitatis est necessitas, to what end is all your custody? A dishonest woman cannot be kept, an honest woman ought not to be kept, necessity is a keeper not to be trusted. Difficile custoditur, quod plures amant; that which many covet, can hardly be preserved, as [6192] Salisburiensis thinks. I am of Aeneas Sylvius' mind, [6193]Those jealous Italians do very ill to lock up their wives; for women are of such a disposition, they will most covet that which is denied most, and offend least when they have free liberty to trespass. It is in vain to lock her up if she be dishonest; et tyrranicum imperium, as our great Mr. Aristotle calls it, too tyrannical a task, most unfit: for when she perceives her husband observes her and suspects, liberius peccat, saith [6194]Nevisanus. [6195]Toxica Zelotypo dedit uxor moecha marito, she is exasperated, seeks by all means to vindicate herself, and will therefore offend, because she is unjustly suspected. The best course then is to let them have their own wills, give them free liberty, without any keeping.

If she be honest as Lucretia to Collatinus, Laodamia to Protesilaus, Penelope to her Ulysses, she will so continue her honour, good name, credit, Penelope conjux semper Ulyssis ero; I shall always be Penelope the wife of Ulysses. And as Phocias' wife in [6196]Plutarch, called her husband her wealth, treasure, world, joy, delight, orb and sphere, she will hers. The vow she made unto her good man; love, virtue, religion, zeal, are better keepers than all those locks, eunuchs, prisons; she will not be moved:

She is resolved with Dido to be chaste; though her husband be false, she will be true: and as Octavia writ to her Antony,

Turn her loose to all those Tarquins and Satyrs, she will not be tempted. In the time of Valence the Emperor, saith [6199]St. Austin, one Archidamus, a Consul of Antioch, offered a hundred pounds of gold to a fair young wife, and besides to set her husband free, who was then sub gravissima custodia, a dark prisoner, pro unius noctis concubitu: but the chaste matron would not accept of it. [6200]When Ode commended Theana's fine arm to his fellows, she took him up short, Sir, 'tis not common: she is wholly reserved to her husband. [6201]Bilia had an old man to her spouse, and his breath stunk, so that nobody could abide it abroad; coming home one day he reprehended his wife, because she did not tell him of it: she vowed unto him, she had told him, but she thought every man's breath had been as strong as his. [6202]Tigranes and Armena his lady were invited to supper by King Cyrus: when they came home, Tigranes asked his wife, how she liked Cyrus, and what she did especially commend in him? she swore she did not observe him; when he replied again, what then she did observe, whom she looked on? She made answer, her husband, that said he would die for her sake. Such are the properties and conditions of good women: and if she be well given, she will so carry herself; if otherwise she be naught, use all the means thou canst, she will be naught, Non deest animus sed corruptor, she hath so many lies, excuses, as a hare hath muses, tricks, panders, bawds, shifts, to deceive, 'tis to no purpose to keep her up, or to reclaim her by hard usage. Fair means peradventure may do somewhat. [6203] Obsequio vinces aptius ipse tuo. Men and women are both in a predicament in this behalf, no sooner won, and better pacified. Duci volunt, non cogi: though she be as arrant a scold as Xanthippe, as cruel as Medea, as clamorous as Hecuba, as lustful as Messalina, by such means (if at all) she may be reformed. Many patient [6204]Grizels, by their obsequiousness in this kind, have reclaimed their husbands from their wandering lusts. In Nova Francia and Turkey (as Leah, Rachel, and Sarah did to Abraham and Jacob) they bring their fairest damsels to their husbands' beds; Livia seconded the lustful appetites of Augustus: Stratonice, wife to King Diotarus, did not only bring Electra, a fair maid, to her good man's bed, but brought up the children begot on her, as carefully as if they had been her own. Tertius Emilius' wife, Cornelia's mother, perceiving her husband's intemperance, rem dissimulavit, made much of the maid, and would take no notice of it. A new-married man, when a pickthank friend of his, to curry favour, had showed him his wife familiar in private with a young gallant, courting and dallying, &c. Tush, said he, let him do his worst, I dare trust my wife, though I dare not trust him. The best remedy then is by fair means; if that will not take place, to dissemble it as I say, or turn it off with a jest: hear Guexerra's advice in this case, vel joco excipies, vel silentio eludes; for if you take exceptions at everything your wife doth, Solomon's wisdom, Hercules' valour, Homer's learning, Socrates' patience, Argus' vigilance, will not serve turn. Therefore Minus malum, [6205]a less mischief, Nevisanus holds, dissimulare, to be [6206]Cunarum emptor, a buyer of cradles, as the proverb is, than to be too solicitous. [6207]A good fellow, when his wife was brought to bed before her time, bought half a dozen of cradles beforehand for so many children, as if his wife should continue to bear children every two months. [6208]Pertinax the Emperor, when one told him a fiddler was too familiar with his empress, made no reckoning of it. And when that Macedonian Philip was upbraided with his wife's dishonesty, cum tot victor regnorum ac populorum esset, &c., a conqueror of kingdoms could not tame his wife (for she thrust him out of doors), he made a jest of it. Sapientes portant cornua in pectore, stulti in fronte, saith Nevisanus, wise men bear their horns in their hearts, fools on their foreheads. Eumenes, king of Pergamus, was at deadly feud with Perseus of Macedonia, insomuch that Perseus hearing of a journey he was to take to Delphos, [6209]set a company of soldiers to intercept him in his passage; they did it accordingly, and as they supposed left him stoned to death. The news of this fact was brought instantly to Pergamus; Attalus, Eumenes' brother, proclaimed himself king forthwith, took possession of the crown, and married Stratonice the queen. But by-and-by, when contrary news was brought, that King Eumenes was alive, and now coming to the city, he laid by his crown, left his wife, as a private man went to meet him, and congratulate his return. Eumenes, though he knew all particulars passed, yet dissembling the matter, kindly embraced his brother, and took his wife into his favour again, as if on such matter had been heard of or done. Jocundo, in Ariosto, found his wife in bed with a knave, both asleep, went his ways, and would not so much as wake them, much less reprove them for it. [6210]An honest fellow finding in like sort his wife had played false at tables, and borne a man too many, drew his dagger, and swore if he had not been his very friend, he would have killed him. Another hearing one had done that for him, which no man desires to be done by a deputy, followed in a rage with his sword drawn, and having overtaken him, laid adultery to his charge; the offender hotly pursued, confessed it was true; with which confession he was satisfied, and so left him, swearing that if he had denied it, he would not have put it up. How much better is it to do thus, than to macerate himself, impatiently to rave and rage, to enter an action (as Arnoldus Tilius did in the court of Toulouse, against Martin Guerre his fellow-soldier, for that he counterfeited his habit, and was too familiar with his wife), so to divulge his own shame, and to remain for ever a cuckold on record? how much better be Cornelius Tacitus than Publius Cornutus, to condemn in such cases, or take no notice of it? Melius sic errare, quam Zelotypiae curis, saith Erasmus, se conficere, better be a wittol and put it up, than to trouble himself to no purpose. And though he will not omnibus dormire, be an ass, as he is an ox, yet to wink at it as many do is not amiss at some times, in some cases, to some parties, if it be for his commodity, or some great man's sake, his landlord, patron, benefactor, (as Calbas the Roman saith [6211]Plutarch did by Maecenas, and Phayllus of Argos did by King Philip, when he promised him an office on that condition he might lie with his wife) and so let it pass:

it never troubles me (saith Amphitrio) to be cornuted by Jupiter, let it not molest thee then; be friends with her;

Receive Alcmena to your grace again; let it, I say, make no breach of love between you. Howsoever the best way is to contemn it, which [6214]Henry II. king of France advised a courtier of his, jealous of his wife, and complaining of her unchasteness, to reject it, and comfort himself; for he that suspects his wife's incontinency, and fears the Pope's curse, shall never live a merry hour, or sleep a quiet night: no remedy but patience. When all is done according to that counsel of [6215]Nevisanus, si vitium uxoris corrigi non potest, ferendum est: if it may not be helped, it must be endured. Date veniam et sustinete taciti, 'tis Sophocles' advice, keep it to thyself, and which Chrysostom calls palaestram philosophiae, et domesticum gymnasium a school of philosophy, put it up. There is no other cure but time to wear it out, Injuriarum remedium est oblivio, as if they had drunk a draught of Lethe in Trophonius' den: to conclude, age will bereave her of it, dies dolorem minuit, time and patience must end it.

SUBSECT. II.—By prevention before, or after Marriage, Plato's Community, marry a Courtesan, Philters, Stews, to marry one equal in years, fortunes, of a good family, education, good place, to use them well, &c.

Of such medicines as conduce to the cure of this malady, I have sufficiently treated; there be some good remedies remaining, by way of prevention, precautions, or admonitions, which if rightly practised, may do much good. Plato, in his Commonwealth, to prevent this mischief belike, would have all things, wives and children, all as one: and which Caesar in his Commentaries observed of those old Britons, that first inhabited this land, they had ten or twelve wives allotted to such a family, or promiscuously to be used by so many men; not one to one, as with us, or four, five, or six to one, as in Turkey. The [6217]Nicholaites, a set that sprang, saith Austin, from Nicholas the deacon, would have women indifferent; and the cause of this filthy sect, was Nicholas the deacon's jealousy, for which when he was condemned to purge himself of his offence, he broached his heresy, that it was lawful to lie with one another's wives, and for any man to lie with his: like to those [6218]Anabaptists in Munster, that would consort with other men's wives as the spirit moved them: or as [6219]Mahomet, the seducing prophet, would needs use women as he list himself, to beget prophets; two hundred and five, their Alcoran saith, were in love with him, and [6220]he as able as forty men. Amongst the old Carthaginians, as [6221]Bohemus relates out of Sabellicus., the king of the country lay with the bride the first night, and once in a year they went promiscuously all together. Munster Cosmog. lib. 3. cap. 497. ascribes the beginning of this brutish custom (unjustly) to one Picardus, a Frenchman, that invented a new sect of Adamites, to go naked as Adam did, and to use promiscuous venery at set times. When the priest repeated that of Genesis, Increase and multiply, out [6222]went the candles in the place where they met, and without all respect of age, persons, conditions, catch that catch may, every man took her that came next, &c.; some fasten this on those ancient Bohemians and Russians: [6223]others on the inhabitants of Mambrium, in the Lucerne valley in Piedmont; and, as I read, it was practised in Scotland amongst Christians themselves, until King Malcolm's time, the king or the lord of the town had their maidenheads. In some parts of [6224]India in our age, and those [6225]islanders, [6226]as amongst the Babylonians of old, they will prostitute their wives and daughters (which Chalcocondila, a Greek modern writer, for want of better intelligence, puts upon us Britons) to such travellers or seafaring men as come amongst them by chance, to show how far they were from this feral vice of jealousy, and how little they esteemed it. The kings of Calecut, as [6227]Lod. Vertomannus relates, will not touch their wives, till one of their Biarmi or high priests have lain first with them, to sanctify their wombs. But those Esai and Montanists, two strange sects of old, were in another extreme, they would not marry at all, or have any society with women, [6228]because of their intemperance they held them all to be naught. Nevisanus the lawyer, lib. 4. num. 33. sylv. nupt. would have him that is inclined to this malady, to prevent the worst, marry a quean, Capiens meretricem, hoc habet saltem boni quod non decipitur, quia scit eam sic esse, quod non contingit aliis. A fornicator in Seneca constuprated two wenches in a night; for satisfaction, the one desired to hang him, the other to marry him. [6229] Hierome, king of Syracuse in Sicily, espoused himself to Pitho, keeper of the stews; and Ptolemy took Thais a common whore to be his wife, had two sons, Leontiscus and Lagus by her, and one daughter Irene: 'tis therefore no such unlikely thing. [6230]A citizen of Engubine gelded himself to try his wife's honesty, and to be freed from jealousy; so did a baker in [6231] Basil, to the same intent. But of all other precedents in this kind, that of [6232]Combalus is most memorable; who to prevent his master's suspicion, for he was a beautiful young man, and sent by Seleucus his lord and king, with Stratonice the queen to conduct her into Syria, fearing the worst, gelded himself before he went, and left his genitals behind him in a box sealed up. His mistress by the way fell in love with him, but he not yielding to her, was accused to Seleucus of incontinency, (as that Bellerophon was in like case, falsely traduced by Sthenobia, to King Praetus her husband, cum non posset ad coitum inducere) and that by her, and was therefore at his corning home cast into prison: the day of hearing appointed, he was sufficiently cleared and acquitted, by showing his privities, which to the admiration of the beholders he had formerly cut off. The Lydians used to geld women whom they suspected, saith Leonicus var. hist. Tib. 3. cap. 49. as well as men. To this purpose [6233]Saint Francis, because he used to confess women in private, to prevent suspicion, and prove himself a maid, stripped himself before the Bishop of Assise and others: and Friar Leonard for the same cause went through Viterbium in Italy, without any garments.

Our pseudo-Catholics, to help these inconveniences which proceed from jealousy, to keep themselves and their wives honest, make severe laws; against adultery present death; and withal fornication, a venal sin, as a sink to convey that furious and swift stream of concupiscence, they appoint and permit stews, those punks and pleasant sinners, the more to secure their wives in all populous cities, for they hold them as necessary as churches; and howsoever unlawful, yet to avoid a greater mischief, to be tolerated in policy, as usury, for the hardness of men's hearts; and for this end they have whole colleges of courtesans in their towns and cities. Of [6234]Cato's mind belike, that would have his servants (cum ancillis congredi coitus causa, definito aere, ut graviora facinora evitarent, caeteris interim interdicens) familiar with some such feminine creatures, to avoid worse mischiefs in his house, and made allowance for it. They hold it impossible for idle persons, young, rich, and lusty, so many servants, monks, friars, to live honest, too tyrannical a burden to compel them to be chaste, and most unfit to suffer poor men, younger brothers and soldiers at all to marry, as those diseased persons, votaries, priests, servants. Therefore, as well to keep and ease the one as the other, they tolerate and wink at these kind of brothel-houses and stews. Many probable arguments they have to prove the lawfulness, the necessity, and a toleration of them, as of usury; and without question in policy they are not to be contradicted: but altogether in religion. Others prescribe filters, spells, charms to keep men and women honest. [6235]Mulier ut alienum virum non admittat praeter suum: Accipe fel hirci, et adipem, et exsicca, calescat in oleo, &c., et non alium praeter et amabit. In Alexi. Porta, &c., plura invenies, et multo his absurdiora, uti et in Rhasi, ne mulier virum admittat, et maritum solum diligat, &c. But these are most part Pagan, impious, irreligious, absurd, and ridiculous devices.

The best means to avoid these and like inconveniences are, to take away the causes and occasions. To this purpose [6236]Varro writ Satyram Menippeam, but it is lost. [6237]Patritius prescribes four rules to be observed in choosing of a wife (which who so will may read); Fonseca, the Spaniard, in his 45. c. Amphitheat. Amoris, sets down six special cautions for men, four for women; Sam. Neander out of Shonbernerus, five for men, five for women; Anthony Guivarra many good lessons; [6238]Cleobulus two alone, others otherwise; as first to make a good choice in marriage, to invite Christ to their wedding, and which [6239]St. Ambrose adviseth, Deum conjugii praesidem habere, and to pray to him for her, A Domino enim datur uxor prudens, Prov. xix. ) not to be too rash and precipitate in his election, to run upon the first he meets, or dote on every stout fair piece he sees, but to choose her as much by his ears as eyes, to be well advised whom he takes, of what age, &c., and cautelous in his proceedings. An old man should not marry a young woman, nor a young woman an old man, [6240] Quam male inaequales veniunt ad arata juvenci! such matches must needs minister a perpetual cause of suspicion, and be distasteful to each other.

For Sophocles, as [6242]Atheneus describes him, was a very old man, as cold as January, a bedfellow of bones, and doted yet upon Archippe, a young courtesan, than which nothing can be more odious. [6243]Senex maritus uxori juveni ingratus est, an old man is a most unwelcome guest to a young wench, unable, unfit:

And as in like case a good fellow that had but a peck of corn weekly to grind, yet would needs build a new mill for it, found his error eftsoons, for either he must let his mill lie waste, pull it quite down, or let others grind at it. So these men, &c.

Seneca therefore disallows all such unseasonable matches, habent enim maledicti locum crebrae nuptiae. And as [6245]Tully farther inveighs, 'tis unfit for any, but ugly and filthy in old age. Turpe senilis amor, one of the three things [6246]God hateth. Plutarch, in his book contra Coleten, rails downright at such kind of marriages, which are attempted by old men, qui jam corpore impotenti, et a voluptatibus deserti, peccant animo, and makes a question whether in some cases it be tolerable at least for such a man to marry,—qui Venerem affectat sine viribus, that is now past those venerous exercises, as a gelded man lies with a virgin and sighs, Ecclus. xxx. 20, and now complains with him in Petronius, funerata est haec pars jam, quad fuit olim Achillea, he is quite done,

But the question is whether he may delight himself as those Priapeian popes, which, in their decrepit age, lay commonly between two wenches every night, contactu formosarum, et contrectatione, num adhuc gaudeat; and as many doting sires do to their own shame, their children's undoing, and their families' confusion: he abhors it, tanquam ab agresti et furioso domino fugiendum, it must be avoided as a bedlam master, and not obeyed.

the devil himself makes such matches. [6249]Levinus Lemnius reckons up three things which generally disturb the peace of marriage: the first is when they marry intempestive or unseasonably, as many mortal men marry precipitately and inconsiderately, when they are effete and old: the second when they marry unequally for fortunes and birth: the third, when a sick impotent person weds one that is sound, novae nuptae spes frustratur: many dislikes instantly follow. Many doting dizzards, it may not be denied, as Plutarch confesseth, [6250]recreate themselves with such obsolete, unseasonable and filthy remedies (so he calls them), with a remembrance of their former pleasures, against nature they stir up their dead flesh: but an old lecher is abominable; mulier tertio nubens, [6251]Nevisanus holds, praesumitur lubrica, et inconstans, a woman that marries a third time may be presumed to be no honester than she should. Of them both, thus Ambrose concludes in his comment upon Luke, [6252]they that are coupled together, not to get children, but to satisfy their lust, are not husbands, but fornicators, with whom St. Austin consents: matrimony without hope of children, non matrimonium, sed concubium dici debet, is not a wedding but a jumbling or coupling together. In a word (except they wed for mutual society, help and comfort one of another, in which respects, though [6253]Tiberius deny it, without question old folks may well marry) for sometimes a man hath most need of a wife, according to Puccius, when he hath no need of a wife; otherwise it is most odious, when an old Acherontic dizzard, that hath one foot in his grave, a silicernium, shall flicker after a young wench that is blithe and bonny,

What can be more detestable?

Yet, as some will, it is much more tolerable for an old man to marry a young woman (our ladies' match they call it) for cras erit mulier, as he said in Tully. Cato the Roman, Critobulus in [6256]Xenophon, [6257]Tiraquellus of late, Julius Scaliger, &c., and many famous precedents we have in that kind; but not e contra: 'tis not held fit for an ancient woman to match with a young man. For as Varro will, Anus dum ludit morti delitias facit, 'tis Charon's match between [6258]Cascus and Casca, and the devil himself is surely well pleased with it. And, therefore, as the [6259]poet inveighs, thou old Vetustina bedridden quean, that art now skin and bones,

Must thou marry a youth again? And yet ducentas ire nuptum post mortes amant: howsoever it is, as [6260]Apuleius gives out of his Meroe, congressus annosus, pestilens, abhorrendus, a pestilent match, abominable, and not to be endured. In such case how can they otherwise choose but be jealous, how should they agree one with another? This inequality is not in years only, but in birth, fortunes, conditions, and all good [6261]qualities, si qua voles apte nubere, nube pari, 'tis my counsel, saith Anthony Guiverra, to choose such a one. Civis Civem ducat, Nobilis Nobilem, let a citizen match with a citizen, a gentleman with a gentlewoman; he that observes not this precept (saith he) non generum sed malum Genium, non nurum sed Furiam, non vitae Comitem, sed litis fomitem domi habebit, instead of a fair wife shall have a fury, for a fit son-in-law a mere fiend, &c. examples are too frequent.

Another main caution fit to be observed is this, that though they be equal in years, birth, fortunes, and other conditions, yet they do not omit virtue and good education, which Musonius and Antipater so much inculcate in Stobeus:

If, as Plutarch adviseth, one must eat modium salis, a bushel of salt with him, before he choose his friend, what care should be had in choosing a wife, his second self, how solicitous should he be to know her qualities and behaviour; and when he is assured of them, not to prefer birth, fortune, beauty, before bringing up, and good conditions. [6263]Coquage god of cuckolds, as one merrily said, accompanies the goddess Jealousy, both follow the fairest, by Jupiter's appointment, and they sacrifice to them together: beauty and honesty seldom agree; straight personages have often crooked manners; fair faces, foul vices; good complexions, ill conditions. Suspicionis plena res est, et insidiarum, beauty (saith [6264]Chrysostom) is full of treachery and suspicion: he that hath a fair wife, cannot have a worse mischief, and yet most covet it, as if nothing else in marriage but that and wealth were to be respected. [6265]Francis Sforza, Duke of Milan, was so curious in this behalf, that he would not marry the Duke of Mantua's daughter, except he might see her naked first: which Lycurgus appointed in his laws, and Morus in his Utopian Commonwealth approves. [6266]In Italy, as a traveller observes, if a man have three or four daughters, or more, and they prove fair, they are married eftsoons: if deformed, they change their lovely names of Lucia, Cynthia, Camaena, call them Dorothy, Ursula, Bridget, and so put them into monasteries, as if none were fit for marriage, but such as are eminently fair: but these are erroneous tenets: a modest virgin well conditioned, to such a fair snout-piece, is much to be preferred. If thou wilt avoid them, take away all causes of suspicion and jealousy, marry a coarse piece, fetch her from Cassandra's [6267]temple, which was wont in Italy to be a sanctuary of all deformed maids, and so shalt thou be sure that no man will make thee cuckold, but for spite. A citizen of Bizance in France had a filthy, dowdy, deformed slut to his wife, and finding her in bed with another man, cried out as one amazed; O miser! quae te necessitas huc adegit? O thou wretch, what necessity brought thee hither? as well he might; for who can affect such a one? But this is warily to be understood, most offend in another extreme, they prefer wealth before beauty, and so she be rich, they care not how she look; but these are all out as faulty as the rest. Attendenda uxoris forma, as [6268]Salisburiensis adviseth, ne si alteram aspexeris, mox eam sordere putes, as the Knight in Chaucer, that was married to an old woman,

Have a care of thy wife's complexion, lest whilst thou seest another, thou loathest her, she prove jealous, thou naught,

I can perhaps give instance. Molestum est possidere, quod nemo habere dignetur, a misery to possess that which no man likes: on the other side, Difficile custoditur quod plures amant. And as the bragging soldier vaunted in the comedy, nimia est miseria pulchrum esse hominem nimis. Scipio did never so hardly besiege Carthage, as these young gallants will beset thine house, one with wit or person, another with wealth, &c. If she he fair, saith Guazzo, she will be suspected howsoever. Both extremes are naught, Pulchra cito adamatur, foeda facile concupiscit, the one is soon beloved, the other loves: one is hardly kept, because proud and arrogant, the other not worth keeping; what is to be done in this case? Ennius in Menelippe adviseth thee as a friend to take statam formam, si vis habere incolumem pudicitiam, one of a middle size, neither too fair nor too foul, [6270]Nec formosa magis quam mihi casta placet, with old Cato, though fit let her beauty be, neque lectissima, neque illiberalis, between both. This I approve; but of the other two I resolve with Salisburiensis, caeteris paribus, both rich alike, endowed alike, majori miseria deformis habetur quam formosa servatur, I had rather marry a fair one, and put it to the hazard, than be troubled with a blowze; but do as thou wilt, I speak only of myself.

Howsoever, quod iterum maneo, I would advise thee thus much, be she fair or foul, to choose a wife out of a good kindred, parentage, well brought up, in an honest place.

He that marries a wife out of a suspected inn or alehouse, buys a horse in Smithfield, and hires a servant in Paul's, as the diverb is, shall likely have a jade to his horse, a knave for his man, an arrant honest woman to his wife. Filia praesumitur, esse matri similis, saith [6272]Nevisanus? Such [6273]a mother, such a daughter; mali corvi malum ovum., cat to her kind.

If the mother be dishonest, in all likelihood the daughter will matrizare, take after her in all good qualities,

If the dam trot, the foal will not amble. My last caution is, that a woman do not bestow herself upon a fool, or an apparent melancholy person; jealousy is a symptom of that disease, and fools have no moderation. Justina, a Roman lady, was much persecuted, and after made away by her jealous husband, she caused and enjoined this epitaph, as a caveat to others, to be engraven on her tomb:

After marriage, I can give no better admonitions than to use their wives well, and which a friend of mine told me that was a married man, I will tell you as good cheap, saith Nicostratus in [6276]Stobeus, to avoid future strife, and for quietness' sake, when you are in bed, take heed of your wife's flattering speeches over night, and curtain, sermons in the morning. Let them do their endeavour likewise to maintain them to their means, which [6277]Patricius ingeminates, and let them have liberty with discretion, as time and place requires: many women turn queans by compulsion, as [6278]Nevisanus observes, because their husbands are so hard, and keep them so short in diet and apparel, paupertas cogit eas meretricari, poverty and hunger, want of means, makes them dishonest, or bad usage; their churlish behaviour forceth them to fly out, or bad examples, they do it to cry quittance. In the other extreme some are too liberal, as the proverb is, Turdus malum sibi cacat, they make a rod for their own tails, as Candaules did to Gyges in [6279]Herodotus, commend his wife's beauty himself, and besides would needs have him see her naked. Whilst they give their wives too much liberty to gad abroad, and bountiful allowance, they are accessory to their own miseries; animae uxorum pessime olent, as Plautus jibes, they have deformed souls, and by their painting and colours procure odium mariti, their husband's hate, especially,—[6280] cum misere viscantur labra mariti. Besides, their wives (as [6281]Basil notes) Impudenter se exponunt masculorum aspectibus, jactantes tunicas, et coram tripudiantes, impudently thrust themselves into other men's companies, and by their indecent wanton carriage provoke and tempt the spectators. Virtuous women should keep house; and 'twas well performed and ordered by the Greeks,

which made Phidias belike at Elis paint Venus treading on a tortoise, a symbol of women's silence and housekeeping. For a woman abroad and alone, is like a deer broke out of a park, quam mille venatores insequuntur, whom every hunter follows; and besides in such places she cannot so well vindicate herself, but as that virgin Dinah (Gen. xxxiv., 2,) going for to see the daughters of the land, lost her virginity, she may be defiled and overtaken of a sudden: Imbelles damae quid nisi praeda sumus? [6283]

And therefore I know not what philosopher he was, that would have women come but thrice abroad all their time, [6284]to be baptised, married, and buried; but he was too strait-laced. Let them have their liberty in good sort, and go in good sort, modo non annos viginti aetatis suae domi relinquant, as a good fellow said, so that they look not twenty years younger abroad than they do at home, they be not spruce, neat, angels abroad, beasts, dowdies, sluts at home; but seek by all means to please and give content to their husbands: to be quiet above all things, obedient, silent and patient; if they be incensed, angry, chid a little, their wives must not [6285]cample again, but take it in good part. An honest woman, I cannot now tell where she dwelt, but by report an honest woman she was, hearing one of her gossips by chance complain of her husband's impatience, told her an excellent remedy for it, and gave her withal a glass of water, which when he brawled she should hold still in her mouth, and that toties quoties, as often as he chid; she did so two or three times with good success, and at length seeing her neighbour, gave her great thanks for it, and would needs know the ingredients, [6286]she told her in brief what it was, fair water, and no more: for it was not the water, but her silence which performed the cure. Let every froward woman imitate this example, and be quiet within doors, and (as [6287]M. Aurelius prescribes) a necessary caution it is to be observed of all good matrons that love their credits, to come little abroad, but follow their work at home, look to their household affairs and private business, oeconomiae incumbentes, be sober, thrifty, wary, circumspect, modest, and compose themselves to live to their husbands' means, as a good housewife should do,

Howsoever 'tis good to keep them private, not in prison;

Read more of this subject, Horol. princ. lib. 2. per totum. Arnisaeus, polit. Cyprian, Tertullian, Bossus de mulier. apparat. Godefridus de Amor. lib. 2. cap. 4. Levinus Lemnius cap. 54. de institut. Christ. Barbaras de re uxor. lib. 2. cap. 2. Franciscus Patritius de institut. Reipub. lib. 4. Tit. 4. et 6. de officio mariti et uxoris, Christ. Fonseca Amphitheat. Amor. cap. 45. Sam. Neander, &c.

These cautions concern him; and if by those or his own discretion otherwise he cannot moderate himself, his friends must not be wanting by their wisdom, if it be possible, to give the party grieved satisfaction, to prevent and remove the occasions, objects, if it may be to secure him. If it be one alone, or many, to consider whom he suspects or at what times, in what places he is most incensed, in what companies. [6290]Nevisanus makes a question whether a young physician ought to be admitted in cases of sickness, into a new-married man's house, to administer a julep, a syrup, or some such physic. The Persians of old would not suffer a young physician to come amongst women. [6291]Apollonides Cous made Artaxerxes cuckold, and was after buried alive for it. A goaler in Aristaenetus had a fine young gentleman to his prisoner; [6292]in commiseration of his youth and person he let him loose, to enjoy the liberty of the prison, but he unkindly made him a cornuto. Menelaus gave good welcome to Paris a stranger, his whole house and family were at his command, but he ungently stole away his best beloved wife. The like measure was offered to Agis king of Lacedaemon, by [6293] Alcibiades an exile, for his good entertainment, he was too familiar with Timea his wife, begetting a child of her, called Leotichides: and bragging moreover when he came home to Athens, that he had a son should be king of the Lacedaemonians. If such objects were removed, no doubt but the parties might easily be satisfied, or that they could use them gently and entreat them well, not to revile them, scoff at, hate them, as in such cases commonly they do, 'tis a human infirmity, a miserable vexation, and they should not add grief to grief, nor aggravate their misery, but seek to please, and by all means give them content, by good counsel, removing such offensive objects, or by mediation of some discreet friends. In old Rome there was a temple erected by the matrons to that [6294]Viriplaca Dea, another to Venus verticorda, quae maritos uxoribus reddebat benevolos, whither (if any difference happened between man and wife) they did instantly resort: there they did offer sacrifice, a white hart, Plutarch records, sine felle, without the gall, (some say the like of Juno's temple) and make their prayers for conjugal peace; before some [6295] indifferent arbitrators and friends, the matter was heard between man and wife, and commonly composed. In our times we want no sacred churches, or good men to end such controversies, if use were made, of them. Some say that precious stone called [6296]beryllus, others a diamond, hath excellent virtue, contra hostium injurias, et conjugatos invicem conciliare, to reconcile men and wives, to maintain unity and love; you may try this when you will, and as you see cause. If none of all these means and cautions will take place, I know not what remedy to prescribe, or whither such persons may go for ease, except they can get into the same [6297]Turkey paradise, Where they shall have as many fair wives as they will themselves, with clear eyes, and such as look on none but their own husbands, no fear, no danger of being cuckolds; or else I would have them observe that strict rule of [6298]Alphonsus, to marry a deaf and dumb man to a blind woman. If this will not help, let them, to prevent the worst, consult with an [6299]astrologer, and see whether the significators in her horoscope agree with his, that they be not in signis et partibus odiose intuentibus aut imperantibus, sed mutuo et amice antisciis et obedientibus, otherwise (as they hold) there will be intolerable enmities between them: or else get them sigillum veneris, a characteristical seal stamped in the day and hour of Venus, when she is fortunate, with such and such set words and charms, which Villanovanus and Leo Suavius prescribe, ex sigillis magicis Salomonis, Hermetis, Raguelis, &c., with many such, which Alexis, Albertus, and some of our natural magicians put upon us: ut mulier cum aliquo adulterare non possit, incide de capillis ejus, &c., and he shall surely be gracious in all women's eyes, and never suspect or disagree with his own wife so long as he wears it. If this course be not approved, and other remedies may not be had, they must in the last place sue for a divorce; but that is somewhat difficult to effect, and not all out so fit. For as Felisacus in his tract de justa uxore urgeth, if that law of Constantine the Great, or that of Theodosius and Valentinian, concerning divorce, were in use in our times, innumeras propemodum viduas haberemus, et coelibes viros, we should have almost no married couples left. Try therefore those former remedies; or as Tertullian reports of Democritus, that put out his eyes, [6300]because he could not look upon a woman without lust, and was much troubled to see that which he might not enjoy; let him make himself blind, and so he shall avoid that care and molestation of watching his wife. One other sovereign remedy I could repeat, an especial antidote against jealousy, an excellent cure, but I am not now disposed to tell it, not that like a covetous empiric I conceal it for any gain, but some other reasons, I am not willing to publish it: if you be very desirous to know it, when I meet you next I will peradventure tell you what it is in your ear. This is the best counsel I can give; which he that hath need of, as occasion serves, may apply unto himself. In the mean time,—dii talem terris avertite pestem, [6301]as the proverb is, from heresy, jealousy and frenzy, good Lord deliver us.