SECT. III. MEMB. I.
SUBSECT. I.—Jealousy, its Equivocations, Name, Definition, Extent, several kinds; of Princes, Parents, Friends. In Beasts, Men: before marriage, as Co-rivals; or after, as in this place.
Valescus de Taranta cap. de Melanchol. Aelian Montaltus, Felix Platerus,
Guianerius, put jealousy for a cause of melancholy, others for a symptom;
because melancholy persons amongst these passions and perturbations of the
mind, are most obnoxious to it. But methinks for the latitude it hath, and
that prerogative above other ordinary symptoms, it ought to be treated of
as a species apart, being of so great and eminent note, so furious a
passion, and almost of as great extent as love itself, as [5982]Benedetto
Varchi holds, no love without a mixture of jealousy, qui non zelat, non
amat. For these causes I will dilate, and treat of it by itself, as a
bastard-branch or kind of love-melancholy, which, as heroical love goeth
commonly before marriage, doth usually follow, torture, and crucify in like
sort, deserves therefore to be rectified alike, requires as much care and
industry, in setting out the several causes of it, prognostics and cures.
Which I have more willingly done, that he that is or hath been jealous, may
see his error as in a glass; he that is not, may learn to detest, avoid it
himself, and dispossess others that are anywise affected with it.
Jealousy is described and defined to be [5983]a certain suspicion which
the lover hath of the party he chiefly loveth, lest he or she should be
enamoured of another: or any eager desire to enjoy some beauty alone, to
have it proper to himself only: a fear or doubt, lest any foreigner should
participate or share with him in his love. Or (as [5984]Scaliger adds) a
fear of losing her favour whom he so earnestly affects. Cardan calls it a
[5985]zeal for love, and a kind of envy lest any man should beguile us.
[5986]Ludovicus Vives defines it in the very same words, or little
differing in sense.
There be many other jealousies, but improperly so called all; as that of
parents, tutors, guardians over their children, friends whom they love, or
such as are left to their wardship or protection.
[5987]Storax non rediit hac nocte a coena Aeschinus,
Neque servulorum quispiam qui adversum ierant?
As the old man in the comedy cried out in a passion, and from a solicitous
fear and care he had of his adopted son; [5988]not of beauty, but lest
they should miscarry, do amiss, or any way discredit, disgrace (as Vives
notes) or endanger themselves and us. [5989]Aegeus was so solicitous for
his son Theseus, (when he went to fight with the Minotaur) of his success,
lest he should be foiled, [5990]Prona est timori semper in pejus fides.
We are still apt to suspect the worst in such doubtful cases, as many wives
in their husband's absence, fond mothers in their children's, lest if
absent they should be misled or sick, and are continually expecting news
from them, how they do fare, and what is become of them, they cannot endure
to have them long out of their sight: oh my sweet son, O my dear child, &c.
Paul was jealous over the Church of Corinth, as he confesseth, 2 Cor. xi.
12. With a godly jealousy, to present them a pure virgin to Christ; and
he was afraid still, lest as the serpent beguiled Eve, through his
subtlety, so their minds should be corrupt from the simplicity that is in
Christ. God himself, in some sense, is said to be jealous, [5991]I am a
jealous God, and will visit: so Psalm lxxix. 5. Shall thy jealousy burn
like fire for ever? But these are improperly called jealousies, and by a
metaphor, to show the care and solicitude they have of them. Although some
jealousies express all the symptoms of this which we treat of, fear,
sorrow, anguish, anxiety, suspicion, hatred, &c., the object only varied.
That of some fathers is very eminent, to their sons and heirs; for though
they love them dearly being children, yet now coming towards man's estate
they may not well abide them, the son and heir is commonly sick of the
father, and the father again may not well brook his eldest son, inde
simultates, plerumque contentiones et inimicitiae; but that of princes is
most notorious, as when they fear co-rivals (if I may so call them)
successors, emulators, subjects, or such as they have offended. [5992]
Omnisque potestas impatiens consortis erit: they are still suspicious,
lest their authority should be diminished, [5993]as one observes; and as
Comineus hath it, [5994]it cannot be expressed what slender causes they
have of their grief and suspicion, a secret disease, that commonly lurks
and breeds in princes' families. Sometimes it is for their honour only, as
that of Adrian the emperor, [5995]that killed all his emulators. Saul
envied David; Domitian Agricola, because he did excel him, obscure his
honour, as he thought, eclipse his fame. Juno turned Praetus' daughters into
kine, for that they contended with her for beauty; [5996]Cyparissae, king
Eteocles' children, were envied of the goddesses for their excellent good
parts, and dancing amongst the rest, saith [5997]Constantine, and for
that cause flung headlong from heaven, and buried in a pit, but the earth
took pity of them, and brought out cypress trees to preserve their
memories. [5998]Niobe, Arachne, and Marsyas, can testify as much. But it
is most grievous when it is for a kingdom itself, or matters of commodity,
it produceth lamentable effects, especially amongst tyrants, in despotico
Imperio, and such as are more feared than beloved of their subjects, that
get and keep their sovereignty by force and fear. [5999]Quod civibus
tenere te invitis scias, &c., as Phalaris, Dionysius, Periander held
theirs. For though fear, cowardice, and jealousy, in Plutarch's opinion, be
the common causes of tyranny, as in Nero, Caligula, Tiberius, yet most take
them to be symptoms. For [6000]what slave, what hangman (as Bodine well
expresseth this passion, l. 2. c. 5. de rep.) can so cruelly torture a
condemned person, as this fear and suspicion? Fear of death, infamy,
torments, are those furies and vultures that vex and disquiet tyrants, and
torture them day and night, with perpetual terrors and affrights, envy,
suspicion, fear, desire of revenge, and a thousand such disagreeing
perturbations, turn and affright the soul out of the hinges of health, and
more grievously wound and pierce, than those cruel masters can exasperate
and vex their apprentices or servants, with clubs, whips, chains, and
tortures. Many terrible examples we have in this kind, amongst the Turks
especially, many jealous outrages; [6001]Selimus killed Kornutus his
youngest brother, five of his nephews, Mustapha Bassa, and divers others.
[6002]Bajazet the second Turk, jealous of the valour and greatness of
Achmet Bassa, caused him to be slain. [6003]Suleiman the Magnificent
murdered his own son Mustapha; and 'tis an ordinary thing amongst them, to
make away their brothers, or any competitors, at the first coming to the
crown: 'tis all the solemnity they use at their fathers' funerals. What mad
pranks in his jealous fury did Herod of old commit in Jewry, when he
massacred all the children of a year old? [6004]Valens the emperor in
Constantinople, when as he left no man alive of quality in his kingdom that
had his name begun with Theo; Theodoti, Theognosti, Theodosii, Theoduli,
&c. They went all to their long home, because a wizard told him that name
should succeed in his empire. And what furious designs hath [6005]Jo.
Basilius, that Muscovian tyrant, practised of late? It is a wonder to read
that strange suspicion, which Suetonius reports of Claudius Caesar, and of
Domitian, they were afraid of every man they saw: and which Herodian of
Antoninus and Geta, those two jealous brothers, the one could not endure so
much as the other's servants, but made away him, his chiefest followers,
and all that belonged to him, or were his well-wishers. [6006]Maximinus
perceiving himself to be odious to most men, because he was come to that
height of honour out of base beginnings, and suspecting his mean parentage
would be objected to him, caused all the senators that were nobly
descended, to be slain in a jealous humour, turned all the servants of
Alexander his predecessor out of doors, and slew many of them, because they
lamented their master's death, suspecting them to be traitors, for the love
they bare to him. When Alexander in his fury had made Clitus his dear
friend to be put to death, and saw now (saith [6007]Curtius) an alienation
in his subjects' hearts, none durst talk with him, he began to be jealous
of himself, lest they should attempt as much on him, and said they lived
like so many wild beasts in a wilderness, one afraid of another. Our
modern stories afford us many notable examples. [6008]Henry the Third of
France, jealous of Henry of Lorraine, Duke of Guise, anno 1588, caused him
to be murdered in his own chamber. [6009]Louis the Eleventh was so
suspicious, he durst not trust his children, every man about him he
suspected for a traitor; many strange tricks Comineus telleth of him. How
jealous was our Henry the [6010]Fourth of King Richard the Second, so long
as he lived, after he was deposed? and of his own son Henry in his latter
days? which the prince well perceiving, came to visit his father in his
sickness, in a watchet velvet gown, full of eyelet holes, and with needles
sticking in them (as an emblem of jealousy), and so pacified his suspicious
father, after some speeches and protestations, which he had used to that
purpose. Perpetual imprisonment, as that of Robert [6011]Duke of Normandy,
in the days of Henry the First, forbidding of marriage to some persons,
with such like edicts and prohibitions, are ordinary in all states. In a
word ([6012]as he said) three things cause jealousy, a mighty state, a
rich treasure, a fair wife; or where there is a cracked title, much
tyranny, and exactions. In our state, as being freed from all these fears
and miseries, we may be most secure and happy under the reign of our
fortunate prince:
[6013]His fortune hath indebted him to none
But to all his people universally;
And not to them but for their love alone,
Which they account as placed worthily.
He is so set, he hath no cause to be
Jealous, or dreadful of disloyalty;
The pedestal whereon his greatness stands.
Is held of all our hearts, and all our hands.
But I rove, I confess. These equivocations, jealousies, and many such,
which crucify the souls of men, are not here properly meant, or in this
distinction of ours included, but that alone which is for beauty, tending
to love, and wherein they can brook no co-rival, or endure any
participation: and this jealousy belongs as well to brute beasts, as men.
Some creatures, saith [6014]Vives, swans, doves, cocks, bulls, &c., are
jealous as well as men, and as much moved, for fear of communion.
[6015]Grege pro toto bella juvenci,
Si con jugio timuere suo,
Poscunt timidi praelia cervi,
Et mugitus dant concepti signa furoris.
In Venus' cause what mighty battles make
Your raving bulls, and stirs for their herd's sake:
And harts and bucks that are so timorous,
Will fight and roar, if once they be but jealous.
In bulls, horses, goats, this is most apparently discerned. Bulls
especially, alium in pascuis non admittit, he will not admit another bull
to feed in the same pasture, saith [6016]Oppin: which Stephanus Bathorius,
late king of Poland, used as an impress, with that motto, Regnum non capit
duos. R. T. in his Blazon of Jealousy, telleth a story of a swan about
Windsor, that finding a strange cock with his mate, did swim I know not how
many miles after to kill him, and when he had so done, came back and killed
his hen; a certain truth, he saith, done upon Thames, as many watermen, and
neighbour gentlemen, can tell. Fidem suam liberet; for my part, I do
believe it may be true; for swans have ever been branded with that epithet
of jealousy.
[6017]The jealous swanne against his death that singeth,
And eke the owle that of death bode bringeth.
[6018]Some say as much of elephants, that they are more jealous than any
other creatures whatsoever; and those old Egyptians, as [6019]Pierius
informeth us, express in their hieroglyphics, the passion of jealousy by a
camel; [6020]because that fearing the worst still about matters of venery,
he loves solitudes, that he may enjoy his pleasure alone, et in quoscunque
obvios insurgit, Zelolypiae stimulis agitatus, he will quarrel and fight
with whatsoever comes next, man or beast, in his jealous fits. I have read
as much of [6021]crocodiles; and if Peter Martyr's authority be authentic,
legat. Babylonicae lib. 3. you shall have a strange tale to that purpose
confidently related. Another story of the jealousy of dogs, see in Hieron.
Fabricius, Tract. 3. cap. 5. de loquela animalium.
But this furious passion is most eminent in men, and is as well amongst
bachelors as married men. If it appear amongst bachelors, we commonly call
them rivals or co-rivals, a metaphor derived from a river, rivales, a
[6022]rivo; for as a river, saith Acron in Hor. Art. Poet. and Donat
in Ter. Eunuch. divides a common ground between two men, and both
participate of it, so is a woman indifferent between two suitors, both
likely to enjoy her; and thence comes this emulation, which breaks out many
times into tempestuous storms, and produceth lamentable effects, murder
itself, with much cruelty, many single combats. They cannot endure the
least injury done unto them before their mistress, and in her defence will
bite off one another's noses; they are most impatient of any flout,
disgrace, lest emulation or participation in that kind. [6023]Lacerat
lacerium Largi mordax Memnius. Memnius the Roman (as Tully tells the
story, de oratore, lib. 2.), being co-rival with Largus Terracina, bit
him by the arm, which fact of his was so famous, that it afterwards grew to
a proverb in those parts. [6024]Phaedria could not abide his co-rival
Thraso; for when Parmeno demanded, numquid aliud imperas? whether he
would command him any more service: No more (saith he) but to speak in his
behalf, and to drive away his co-rival if he could. Constantine, in the
eleventh book of his husbandry, cap. 11, hath a pleasant tale of the
pine-tree; [6025]she was once a fair maid, whom Pineus and Boreas, two
co-rivals, dearly sought; but jealous Boreas broke her neck, &c. And in his
eighteenth chapter he telleth another tale of [6026]Mars, that in his
jealousy slew Adonis. Petronius calleth this passion amantium furiosum
aemulationem, a furious emulation; and their symptoms are well expressed
by Sir Geoffrey Chaucer in his first Canterbury Tale. It will make the
nearest and dearest friends fall out; they will endure all other things to
be common, goods, lands, moneys, participate of each pleasure, and take in
good part any disgraces, injuries in another kind; but as Propertius well
describes it in an elegy of his, in this they will suffer nothing, have no
co-rivals.
[6027]Tu mihi vel ferro pectus, vel perde veneno,
A domina tantum te modo tolle mea:
Te socium vitae te corporis esse licebit,
Te dominum admitto rebus amice meis.
Lecto te solum, lecto te deprecor uno,
Rivalem possum non ego ferre Jovem.
Stab me with sword, or poison strong
So thou court not my lass, so thou
From mistress mine refrain.
Command myself, my body, purse,
As thine own goods take all,
And as my ever dearest friend,
O spare my love, to have alone
Nay, Jove himself I'll not endure
This jealousy, which I am to treat of, is that which belongs to married
men, in respect of their own wives; to whose estate, as no sweetness,
pleasure, happiness can be compared in the world, if they live quietly and
lovingly together; so if they disagree or be jealous, those bitter pills of
sorrow and grief, disastrous mischiefs, mischances, tortures, gripings,
discontents, are not to be separated from them. A most violent passion it
is where it taketh place, an unspeakable torment, a hellish torture, an
infernal plague, as Ariosto calls it, a fury, a continual fever, full of
suspicion, fear, and sorrow, a martyrdom, a mirth-marring monster. The
sorrow and grief of heart of one woman jealous of another, is heavier than
death, Ecclus. xxviii. 6. as [6028]Peninnah did Hannah, vex her and
upbraid her sore. 'Tis a main vexation, a most intolerable burden, a
corrosive to all content, a frenzy, a madness itself; as [6029]Beneditto
Varchi proves out of that select sonnet of Giovanni de la Casa, that
reverend lord, as he styles him.
SUBSECT. II.—Causes of Jealousy. Who are most apt. Idleness, melancholy, impotency, long absence, beauty, wantonness, naught themselves. Allurements, from time, place, persons, bad usage, causes.
Astrologers make the stars a cause or sign of this bitter passion, and out
of every man's horoscope will give a probable conjecture whether he will be
jealous or no, and at what time, by direction of the significators to their
several promissors: their aphorisms are to be read in Albubater, Pontanus,
Schoner, Junctine, &c. Bodine, cap. 5. meth. hist. ascribes a great
cause to the country or clime, and discourseth largely there of this
subject, saying, that southern men are more hot, lascivious, and jealous,
than such as live in the north; they can hardly contain themselves in those
hotter climes, but are most subject to prodigious lust. Leo Afer telleth
incredible things almost, of the lust and jealousy of his countrymen of
Africa, and especially such as live about Carthage, and so doth every
geographer of them in [6030]Asia, Turkey, Spaniards, Italians. Germany
hath not so many drunkards, England tobacconists, France dancers, Holland
mariners, as Italy alone hath jealous husbands. And in [6031]Italy some
account them of Piacenza more jealous than the rest. In [6032]Germany,
France, Britain, Scandia, Poland, Muscovy, they are not so troubled with
this feral malady, although Damianus a Goes, which I do much wonder at, in
his topography of Lapland, and Herbastein of Russia, against the stream of
all other geographers, would fasten it upon those northern inhabitants.
Altomarius Poggius, and Munster in his description of Baden, reports that
men and women of all sorts go commonly into the baths together, without all
suspicion, the name of jealousy (saith Munster) is not so much as once
heard of among them. In Friesland the women kiss him they drink to, and
are kissed again of those they pledge. The virgins in Holland go hand in
hand with young men from home, glide on the ice, such is their harmless
liberty, and lodge together abroad without suspicion, which rash Sansovinus
an Italian makes a great sign of unchastity. In France, upon small
acquaintance, it is usual to court other men's wives, to come to their
houses, and accompany them arm in arm in the streets, without imputation.
In the most northern countries young men and maids familiarly dance
together, men and their wives, [6033]which, Siena only excepted, Italians
may not abide. The [6034]Greeks, on the other side, have their private
baths for men and women, where they must not come near, nor so much as see
one another: and as [6035]Bodine observes lib. 5. de repub. the
Italians could never endure this, or a Spaniard, the very conceit of it
would make him mad: and for that cause they lock up their women, and will
not suffer them to be near men, so much as in the [6036]church, but with a
partition between. He telleth, moreover, how that when he was ambassador
in England, he heard Mendoza the Spanish legate finding fault with it, as a
filthy custom for men and women to sit promiscuously in churches together;
but Dr. Dale the master of the requests told him again, that it was indeed
a filthy custom in Spain, where they could not contain themselves from
lascivious thoughts in their holy places, but not with us. Baronius in his
Annals, out of Eusebius, taxeth Licinius the emperor for a decree of his
made to this effect, Jubens ne viri simul cum mulieribus in ecclesia
interessent: for being prodigiously naught himself, aliorum naturam ex
sua vitiosa mente spectavit, he so esteemed others. But we are far from
any such strange conceits, and will permit our wives and daughters to go to
the tavern with a friend, as Aubanus saith, modo absit lascivia, and
suspect nothing, to kiss coming and going, which, as Erasmus writes in one
of his epistles, they cannot endure. England is a paradise for women, and
hell for horses: Italy a paradise for horses, hell for women, as the diverb
goes. Some make a question whether this headstrong passion rage more in
women than men, as Montaigne l. 3. But sure it is more outrageous in women,
as all other melancholy is, by reason of the weakness of their sex.
Scaliger Poet. lib. cap. 13. concludes against women: [6037]Besides
their inconstancy, treachery, suspicion, dissimulation, superstition,
pride, (for all women are by nature proud) desire of sovereignty, if they
be great women, (he gives instance in Juno) bitterness and jealousy are the
most remarkable affections.
Sed neque fulvus aper media tam fulvus in ira est,
Fulmineo rapidos dum rotat ore canes.
Tiger, boar, bear, viper, lioness,
A woman's fury cannot express.
[6038]Some say redheaded women, pale-coloured, black-eyed, and of a
shrill voice, are most subject to jealousy.
[6039]High colour in a woman choler shows,
Naught are they, peevish, proud, malicious;
But worst of all, red, shrill, and jealous.
Comparisons are odious, I neither parallel them with others, nor debase
them any more: men and women are both bad, and too subject to this
pernicious infirmity. It is most part a symptom and cause of melancholy, as
Plater and Valescus teach us: melancholy men are apt to be jealous, and
jealous apt to be melancholy.
Pale jealousy, child of insatiate love,
Of heart-sick thoughts which melancholy bred,
A hell-tormenting fear, no faith can move,
By discontent with deadly poison fed;
With heedless youth and error vainly led.
A mortal plague, a virtue-drowning flood,
A hellish fire not quenched but with blood.
If idleness concur with melancholy, such persons are most apt to be
jealous; 'tis [6040]Nevisanus' note, an idle woman is presumed to be
lascivious, and often jealous. Mulier cum sola cogitat, male cogitat:
and 'tis not unlikely, for they have no other business to trouble their
heads with.
More particular causes be these which follow. Impotency first, when a man
is not able of himself to perform those dues which he ought unto his wife:
for though he be an honest liver, hurt no man, yet Trebius the lawyer may
make a question, an suum cuique tribuat, whether he give every one their
own; and therefore when he takes notice of his wants, and perceives her to
be more craving, clamorous, insatiable and prone to lust than is fit, he
begins presently to suspect, that wherein he is defective, she will satisfy
herself, she will be pleased by some other means. Cornelius Gallus hath
elegantly expressed this humour in an epigram to his Lychoris.
[6041]Jamque alios juvenes aliosque requirit amores,
Me vocat imbellem decrepitumque senem, &c.
For this cause is most evident in old men, that are cold and dry by nature,
and married, succi plenis, to young wanton wives; with old doting Janivere
in Chaucer, they begin to mistrust all is not well,
———She was young and he was old,
And therefore he feared to be a cuckold.
And how should it otherwise be? old age is a disease of itself, loathsome,
full of suspicion and fear; when it is at best, unable, unfit for such
matters. [6042]Tam apta nuptiis quam bruma messibus, as welcome to a
young woman as snow in harvest, saith Nevisanus: Et si capis juvenculam,
faciet tibi cornua: marry a lusty maid and she will surely graft horns on
thy head. [6043]All women are slippery, often unfaithful to their
husbands (as Aeneas Sylvius epist. 38. seconds him), but to old men most
treacherous: they had rather mortem amplexarier, lie with a corse than
such a one: [6044]Oderunt illum pueri, contemnunt mulieres. On the other
side many men, saith Hieronymus, are suspicious of their wives, [6045]if
they be lightly given, but old folks above the rest. Insomuch that she did
not complain without a cause in [6046]Apuleius, of an old bald bedridden
knave she had to her good man: Poor woman as I am, what shall I do? I have
an old grim sire to my husband, as bald as a coot, as little and as unable
as a child, a bedful of bones, he keeps all the doors barred and locked
upon me, woe is me, what shall I do? He was jealous, and she made him a
cuckold for keeping her up: suspicion without a cause, hard usage is able
of itself to make a woman fly out, that was otherwise honest,
[6047]———plerasque bonas tractatio pravas
bad usage aggravates the matter. Nam quando mulieres cognoscunt maritum
hoc advertere, licentius peccant, [6048]as Nevisanus holds, when a woman
thinks her husband watcheth her, she will sooner offend; [6049]Liberius
peccant, et pudor omnis abest, rough handling makes them worse: as the
goodwife of Bath in Chaucer brags,
In his own grease I made him frie
For anger and for every jealousie.
Of two extremes, this of hard usage is the worst. 'Tis a great fault (for
some men are uxorii) to be too fond of their wives, to dote on them as
[6050]Senior Deliro on his Fallace, to be too effeminate, or as some do,
to be sick for their wives, breed children for them, and like the [6051]
Tiberini lie in for them, as some birds hatch eggs by turns, they do all
women's offices: Caelius Rhodiginus ant. lect. Lib. 6. cap. 24. makes
mention of a fellow out of Seneca, [6052]that was so besotted on his wife,
he could not endure a moment out of her company, he wore her scarf when he
went abroad next his heart, and would never drink but in that cup she began
first. We have many such fondlings that are their wives' packhorses and
slaves, (nam grave malum uxor superans virum suum, as the comical poet
hath it, there's no greater misery to a man than to let his wife domineer)
to carry her muff, dog, and fan, let her wear the breeches, lay out, spend,
and do what she will, go and come whither, when she will, they give
consent.
Here, take my muff, and, do you hear, good man;
Now give me pearl, and carry you my fan, &c.
[6053]———poscit pallam, redimicula, inaures;
Curre, quid hic cessas? vulgo vult illa videri,
many brave and worthy men have trespassed in this kind, multos foras
claros domestica haec destruxit infamia, and many noble senators and
soldiers (as [6054]Pliny notes) have lost their honour, in being uxorii,
so sottishly overruled by their wives; and therefore Cato in Plutarch made
a bitter jest on his fellow-citizens, the Romans, we govern all the world
abroad, and our wives at home rule us. These offend in one extreme; but
too hard and too severe, are far more offensive on the other. As just a
cause may be long absence of either party, when they must of necessity be
much from home, as lawyers, physicians, mariners, by their professions; or
otherwise make frivolous, impertinent journeys, tarry long abroad to no
purpose, lie out, and are gadding still, upon small occasions, it must
needs yield matter of suspicion, when they use their wives unkindly in the
meantime, and never tarry at home, it cannot use but engender some such
conceit.
[6055]Uxor si cessas amare te cogitat
Aut tote amari, aut potare, aut animo obsequi,
Ex tibi bene esse soli, quum sibi sit male.
If thou be absent long, thy wife then thinks,
Th' art drunk, at ease, or with some pretty minx,
'Tis well with thee, or else beloved of some,
Whilst she poor soul doth fare full ill at home.
Hippocrates, the physician, had a smack of this disease; for when he was to
go home as far as Abdera, and some other remote cities of Greece, he writ
to his friend Dionysius (if at least those [6056]Epistles be his) [6057]
to oversee his wife in his absence, (as Apollo set a raven to watch his
Coronis) although she lived in his house with her father and mother, who be
knew would have a care of her; yet that would not satisfy his jealousy, he
would have his special friend Dionysius to dwell in his house with her all
the time of his peregrination, and to observe her behaviour, how she
carried herself in her husband's absence, and that she did not lust after
other men. [6058]For a woman had need to have an overseer to keep her
honest; they are bad by nature, and lightly given all, and if they be not
curbed in time, as an unpruned tree, they will be full of wild branches,
and degenerate of a sudden. Especially in their husband's absence: though
one Lucretia were trusty, and one Penelope, yet Clytemnestra made Agamemnon
cuckold; and no question there be too many of her conditions. If their
husbands tarry too long abroad upon unnecessary business, well they may
suspect: or if they run one way, their wives at home will fly out another,
quid pro quo. Or if present, and give them not that content which they
ought, [6059]Primum ingratae, mox invisae noctes quae per somnum
transiguntur, they cannot endure to lie alone, or to fast long. [6060]
Peter Godefridus, in his second book of Love, and sixth chapter, hath a
story out of St. Anthony's life, of a gentleman, who, by that good man's
advice, would not meddle with his wife in the passion week, but for his
pains she set a pair of horns on his head. Such another he hath out of
Abstemius, one persuaded a new married man, [6061]to forbear the three
first nights, and he should all his lifetime after be fortunate in cattle,
but his impatient wife would not tarry so long: well he might speed in
cattle, but not in children. Such a tale hath Heinsius of an impotent and
slack scholar, a mere student, and a friend of his, that seeing by chance a
fine damsel sing and dance, would needs marry her, the match was soon made,
for he was young and rich, genis gratus, corpore glabellus, arte
multiscius, et fortuna opulentus, like that Apollo in [6062]Apuleius. The
first night, having liberally taken his liquor (as in that country they do)
my fine scholar was so fuzzled, that he no sooner was laid in bed, but he
fell fast asleep, never waked till morning, and then much abashed,
purpureis formosa rosis cum Aurora ruberet; when the fair morn with
purple hue 'gan shine, he made an excuse, I know not what, out of
Hippocrates Cous, &c., and for that time it went current: but when as
afterward he did not play the man as he should do, she fell in league with
a good fellow, and whilst he sat up late at his study about those
criticisms, mending some hard places in Festus or Pollux, came cold to bed,
and would tell her still what he had done, she did not much regard what he
said, &c. [6063]She would have another matter mended much rather, which
he did not conceive was corrupt: thus he continued at his study late, she
at her sport, alibi enim festivas noctes agitabat, hating all scholars
for his sake, till at length he began to suspect, and turned a little
yellow, as well he might; for it was his own fault; and if men be jealous
in such cases ([6064]as oft it falls out) the mends is in their own hands,
they must thank themselves. Who will pity them, saith Neander, or be much
offended with such wives, si deceptae prius viros decipiant, et cornutos
reddant, if they deceive those that cozened them first. A lawyer's wife in
[6065]Aristaenetus, because her husband was negligent in his business,
quando lecto danda opera, threatened to cornute him: and did not stick to
tell Philinna, one of her gossips, as much, and that aloud for him to hear:
If he follow other men's matters and leave his own, I'll have an orator
shall plead my cause, I care not if he know it.
A fourth eminent cause of jealousy may be this, when he that is deformed,
and as Pindarus of Vulcan, sine gratiis natus, hirsute, ragged, yet
virtuously given, will marry some fair nice piece, or light housewife,
begins to misdoubt (as well he may) she doth not affect him. [6066]Lis
est cum forma magna pudicitiae, beauty and honesty have ever been at odds.
Abraham was jealous of his wife because she was fair: so was Vulcan of his
Venus, when he made her creaking shoes, saith [6067]Philostratus, ne
maecharetur, sandalio scilicet deferente, that he might hear by them when
she stirred, which Mars indigne ferre, [6068]was not well pleased with.
Good cause had Vulcan to do as he did, for she was no honester than she
should be. Your fine faces have commonly this fault; and it is hard to
find, saith Francis Philelphus in an epistle to Saxola his friend, a rich
man honest, a proper woman not proud or unchaste. Can she be fair and
honest too?
[6069]Saepe etenim oculuit picta sese hydra sub herba,
Sub specie formae, incauto se saepe marito
He that marries a wife that is snowy fair alone, let him look, saith [6070]
Barbarus, for no better success than Vulcan had with Venus, or Claudius
with Messalina. And 'tis impossible almost in such cases the wife should
contain, or the good man not be jealous: for when he is so defective, weak,
ill-proportioned, unpleasing in those parts which women most affect, and
she most absolutely fair and able on the other side, if she be not very
virtuously given, how can she love him? and although she be not fair, yet
if he admire her and think her so, in his conceit she is absolute, he holds
it impossible for any man living not to dote as he doth, to look on her and
not lust, not to covet, and if he be in company with her, not to lay siege
to her honesty: or else out of a deep apprehension of his infirmities,
deformities, and other men's good parts, out of his own little worth and
desert, he distrusts himself, (for what is jealousy but distrust?) he
suspects she cannot affect him, or be not so kind and loving as she should,
she certainly loves some other man better than himself.
[6071]Nevisanus, lib. 4. num. 72, will have barrenness to be a main
cause of jealousy. If her husband cannot play the man, some other shall,
they will leave no remedies unessayed, and thereupon the good man grows
jealous; I could give an instance, but be it as it is.
I find this reason given by some men, because they have been formerly
naught themselves, they think they may be so served by others, they turned
up trump before the cards were shuffled; they shall have therefore legem
talionis, like for like.
[6072]Ipse miser docui, quo posset ludere pacto
Custodes, eheu nunc premor arte mea.
Wretch as I was, I taught her bad to be,
And now mine own sly tricks are put upon me.
Mala mens, malus animus, as the saying is, ill dispositions cause ill
suspicions.
[6073]There is none jealous, I durst pawn my life,
But he that hath defiled another's wife,
And for that he himself hath gone astray,
He straightway thinks his wife will tread that way.
To these two above-named causes, or incendiaries of this rage, I may very
well annex those circumstances of time, place, persons, by which it ebbs
and flows, the fuel of this fury, as [6074]Vives truly observes; and such
like accidents or occasions, proceeding from the parties themselves, or
others, which much aggravate and intend this suspicious humour. For many
men are so lasciviously given, either out of a depraved nature, or too much
liberty, which they do assume unto themselves, by reason of their
greatness, in that they are noble men, (for licentiae peccandi, et
multitudo peccantium are great motives) though their own wives be never so
fair, noble, virtuous, honest, wise, able, and well given, they must have
change.
[6075]Qui cum legitimi junguntur fccdere lecti,
Virtute egregiis, facieque domoque puellis,
Scorta tamen, foedasque lupas in fornice quaerunt,
Et per adulterium nova carpere gaudia tentant.
Who being match'd to wives most virtuous,
Noble, and fair, fly out lascivious.
Quod licet ingratum est, that which is ordinary, is unpleasant. Nero
(saith Tacitus) abhorred Octavia his own wife, a noble virtuous lady, and
loved Acte, a base quean in respect. [6076]Cerinthus rejected Sulpitia, a
nobleman's daughter, and courted a poor servant maid.—tanta est aliena in
messe voluptas, for that [6077]stolen waters be more pleasant: or as
Vitellius the emperor was wont to say, Jucundiores amores, qui cum
periculo habentur, like stolen venison, still the sweetest is that love
which is most difficultly attained: they like better to hunt by stealth in
another man's walk, than to have the fairest course that may be at game of
their own.
[6078]Aspice ut in coelo modo sol, modo luna ministret,
Sic etiam nobis una pella parum est.
As sun and moon in heaven change their course,
So they change loves, though often to the worse.
Or that some fair object so forcibly moves them, they cannot contain
themselves, be it heard or seen they will be at it. [6079]Nessus, the
centaur, was by agreement to carry Hercules and his wife over the river
Evenus; no sooner had he set Dejanira on the other side, but he would have
offered violence unto her, leaving Hercules to swim over as he could: and
though her husband was a spectator, yet would he not desist till Hercules,
with a poisoned arrow, shot him to death. [6080]Neptune saw by chance that
Thessalian Tyro, Eunippius' wife, he forthwith, in the fury of his lust,
counterfeited her husband's habit, and made him cuckold. Tarquin heard
Collatine commend his wife, and was so far enraged, that in the midst of
the night to her he went. [6081]Theseus stole Ariadne, vi rapuit that
Trazenian Anaxa, Antiope, and now being old, Helen, a girl not yet ready
for a husband. Great men are most part thus affected all, as a horse they
neigh, saith [6082]Jeremiah, after their neighbours' wives,—ut visa
pullus adhinnit equa: and if they be in company with other women, though
in their own wives' presence, they must be courting and dallying with them.
Juno in Lucian complains of Jupiter that he was still kissing Ganymede
before her face, which did not a little offend her: and besides he was a
counterfeit Amphitryo, a bull, a swan, a golden shower, and played many
such bad pranks, too long, too shameful to relate.
Or that they care little for their own ladies, and fear no laws, they dare
freely keep whores at their wives' noses. 'Tis too frequent with noblemen
to be dishonest; Pielas, probitas, fides, privata bona sunt, as [6083]he
said long since, piety, chastity, and such like virtues are for private
men: not to be much looked after in great courts: and which Suetonius of
the good princes of his time, they might be all engraven in one ring, we
may truly hold of chaste potentates of our age. For great personages will
familiarly run out in this kind, and yield occasion of offence. [6084]
Montaigne, in his Essays, gives instate in Caesar, Mahomet the Turk, that
sacked Constantinople, and Ladislaus, king of Naples, that besieged
Florence: great men, and great soldiers, are commonly great, &c., probatum
est, they are good doers. Mars and Venus are equally balanced in their
actions,
[6085]Militis in galea nidum fecere columbae,
Apparet Marti quam sit amica Venus.
A dove within a headpiece made her nest,
'Twixt Mars and Venus see an interest.
Especially if they be bald, for bald men have ever been suspicious (read
more in Aristotle, Sect. 4. prob. 19.) as Galba, Otho, Domitian, and
remarkable Caesar amongst the rest. [6086]Urbani servate uxores, maechum
calvum adducimus; besides, this bald Caesar, saith Curio in Sueton, was
omnium mulierum vir; he made love to Eunoe, queen of Mauritania; to
Cleopatra; to Posthumia, wife to Sergius Sulpitius; to Lollia, wife to
Gabinius; to Tertulla, of Crassus; to Mutia, Pompey's wife, and I know not
how many besides: and well he might, for, if all be true that I have read,
he had a license to lie with whom he list. Inter alios honores Caesari
decretos (as Sueton, cap. 52. de Julio, and Dion, lib. 44. relate)
jus illi datum, cum quibuscunque faeminis se jungendi. Every private
history will yield such variety of instances: otherwise good, wise,
discreet men, virtuous and valiant, but too faulty in this. Priamus had
fifty sons, but seventeen alone lawfully begotten. [6087]Philippus Bonus
left fourteen bastards. Lorenzo de Medici, a good prince and a wise, but,
saith Machiavel, [6088]prodigiously lascivious. None so valiant as
Castruccius Castrucanus, but, as the said author hath it, [6089]none so
incontinent as he was. And 'tis not only predominant in grandees this
fault: but if you will take a great man's testimony, 'tis familiar with
every base soldier in France, (and elsewhere, I think). This vice ([6090]
saith mine author) is so common with us in France, that he is of no
account, a mere coward, not worthy the name of a soldier, that is not a
notorious whoremaster. In Italy he is not a gentleman, that besides his
wife hath not a courtesan and a mistress. 'Tis no marvel, then, if poor
women in such cases be jealous, when they shall see themselves manifestly
neglected, contemned, loathed, unkindly used: their disloyal husbands to
entertain others in their rooms, and many times to court ladies to their
faces: other men's wives to wear their jewels: how shall a poor woman in
such a case moderate her passion? [6091]Quis tibi nunc Dido cernenti
talia sensus?
How, on the other side, shall a poor man contain himself from this feral
malady, when he shall see so manifest signs of his wife's inconstancy?
when, as Milo's wife, she dotes upon every young man she sees, or, as
[6092]Martial's Sota,—deserto sequitur Clitum marito, deserts her
husband and follows Clitus. Though her husband be proper and tall, fair
and lovely to behold, able to give contentment to any one woman, yet she
will taste of the forbidden fruit: Juvenal's Iberina to a hair, she is as
well pleased with one eye as one man. If a young gallant come by chance
into her presence, a fastidious brisk, that can wear his clothes well in
fashion, with a lock, jingling spur, a feather, that can cringe, and withal
compliment, court a gentlewoman, she raves upon him, O what a lovely
proper man he was, another Hector, an Alexander, a goodly man, a demigod,
how sweetly he carried himself, with how comely a grace, sic oculos, sic
ille manus, sic ora ferebat, how neatly he did wear his clothes! [6093]
Quam sese ore ferens, quam forti pectore et armis, how bravely did he
discourse, ride, sing, and dance, &c., and then she begins to loathe her
husband, repugnans osculatur, to hate him and his filthy beard, his
goatish complexion, as Doris said of Polyphemus, [6094]totus qui saniem,
totus ut hircus olet, he is a rammy fulsome fellow, a goblin-faced fellow,
he smells, he stinks, Et caepas simul alliumque ructat [6095]—si quando
ad thalamum, &c., how like a dizzard, a fool, an ass, he looks, how like a
clown he behaves himself! [6096]she will not come near him by her own good
will, but wholly rejects him, as Venus did her fuliginous Vulcan, at last,
Nec Deus hunc mensa, Dea nec dignata cubili est. [6097]So did Lucretia, a
lady of Senae, after she had but seen Euryalus, in Eurialum tota ferebatur,
domum reversa, &c., she would not hold her eyes off him in his presence,—
[6098]tantum egregio decus enitet ore, and in his absence could think of
none but him, odit virum, she loathed her husband forthwith, might not
abide him:
[6099]Et conjugalis negligens tori, viro
Praesente, acerbo nauseat fastidio;
All against the laws of matrimony,
She did abhor her husband's phis'nomy;
and sought all opportunity to see her sweetheart again. Now when the good
man shall observe his wife so lightly given, to be so free and familiar
with every gallant, her immodesty and wantonness, (as [6100]Camerarius
notes) it must needs yield matter of suspicion to him, when she still
pranks up herself beyond her means and fortunes, makes impertinent
journeys, unnecessary visitations, stays out so long, with such and such
companions, so frequently goes to plays, masks, feasts, and all public
meetings, shall use such immodest [6101]gestures, free speeches, and
withal show some distaste of her own husband; how can he choose, though he
were another Socrates, but be suspicious, and instantly jealous? [6102]
Socraticas tandem faciet transcendere metas; more especially when he
shall take notice of their more secret and sly tricks, which to cornute
their husbands they commonly use (dum ludis, ludos haec te facit) they
pretend love, honour, chastity, and seem to respect them before all men
living, saints in show, so cunningly can they dissemble, they will not so
much as look upon another man in his presence, [6103]so chaste, so
religious, and so devout, they cannot endure the name or sight of a quean,
a harlot, out upon her! and in their outward carriage are most loving and
officious, will kiss their husband, and hang about his neck (dear husband,
sweet husband), and with a composed countenance salute him, especially when
he comes home; or if he go from home, weep, sigh, lament, and take upon
them to be sick and swoon (like Jocundo's wife in [6104]Ariosto, when her
husband was to depart), and yet arrant, &c. they care not for him,
Aye me, the thought (quoth she) makes me so 'fraid,
That scarce the breath abideth in my breast;
Peace, my sweet love and wife, Jocundo said,
And weeps as fast, and comforts her his best, &c.
All this might not assuage the woman's pain,
Needs must I die before you come again,
Nor how to keep my life I can devise,
The doleful days and nights I shall sustain,
From meat my mouth, from sleep will keep mine eyes, &c.
That very night that went before the morrow,
That he had pointed surely to depart,
Jocundo's wife was sick, and swoon'd for sorrow
Amid his arms, so heavy was her heart.
And yet for all these counterfeit tears and protestations, Jocundo coming
back in all haste for a jewel he had forgot,
His chaste and yoke-fellow he found
Yok'd with a knave, all honesty neglected,
The adulterer sleeping very sound,
Yet by his face was easily detected:
A beggar's brat bred by him from his cradle.,
And now was riding on his master's saddle.
Thus can they cunningly counterfeit, as [6105]Platina describes their
customs, kiss their husbands, whom they had rather see hanging on a
gallows, and swear they love him dearer than their own lives, whose soul
they would not ransom for their little dog's,
———similis si permutatio detur,
Morte viri cupiunt aniniani servare catellae.
Many of them seem to be precise and holy forsooth, and will go to such a
[6106]church, to hear such a good man by all means, an excellent man, when
'tis for no other intent (as he follows it) than to see and to be seen, to
observe what fashions are in use, to meet some pander, bawd, monk, friar,
or to entice some good fellow. For they persuade themselves, as [6107]
Nevisanus shows, That it is neither sin nor shame to lie with a lord or
parish priest, if he be a proper man; [6108]and though she kneel often,
and pray devoutly, 'tis (saith Platina) not for her husband's welfare, or
children's good, or any friend, but for her sweetheart's return, her
pander's health. If her husband would have her go, she feigns herself
sick, [6109]Et simulat subito condoluisse caput: her head aches, and she
cannot stir: but if her paramour ask as much, she is for him in all
seasons, at all hours of the night. [6110]In the kingdom of Malabar, and
about Goa in the East Indies, the women are so subtile that, with a certain
drink they give them to drive away cares as they say, [6111]they will
make them sleep for twenty-four hours, or so intoxicate them that they can
remember nought of that they saw done, or heard, and, by washing of their
feet, restore them again, and so make their husbands cuckolds to their
faces. Some are ill-disposed at all times, to all persons they like,
others more wary to some few, at such and such seasons, as Augusta, Livia,
non nisi plena navi vectorem tollebat. But as he said,
[6112]No pen could write, no tongue attain to tell,
By force of eloquence, or help of art,
Of women's treacheries the hundredth part.
Both, to say truth, are often faulty; men and women give just occasions in
this humour of discontent, aggravate and yield matter of suspicion: but
most part of the chief causes proceed from other adventitious accidents and
circumstances, though the parties be free, and both well given themselves.
The indiscreet carriage of some lascivious gallant (et e contra of some
light woman) by his often frequenting of a house, bold unseemly gestures,
may make a breach, and by his over-familiarity, if he be inclined to
yellowness, colour him quite out. If he be poor, basely born, saith
Beneditto Varchi, and otherwise unhandsome, he suspects him the less; but
if a proper man, such as was Alcibiades in Greece, and Castruccius
Castrucanus in Italy, well descended, commendable for his good parts, he
taketh on the more, and watcheth his doings. [6113]Theodosius the emperor
gave his wife Eudoxia a golden apple when he was a suitor to her, which she
long after bestowed upon a young gallant in the court, of her especial
acquaintance. The emperor, espying this apple in his hand, suspected
forthwith, more than was, his wife's dishonesty, banished him the court,
and from that day following forbare to accompany her any more. [6114]A
rich merchant had a fair wife; according to his custom he went to travel;
in his absence a good fellow tempted his wife; she denied him; yet he,
dying a little after, gave her a legacy for the love he bore her. At his
return, her jealous husband, because she had got more by land than he had
done at sea, turned her away upon suspicion.
Now when those other circumstances of time and place, opportunity and
importunity shall concur, what will they not effect?
Fair opportunity can win the coyest she that is,
So wisely he takes time, as he'll be sure he will not miss:
Then lie that loves her gamesome vein, and tempers toys with art,
Brings love that swimmeth in her eyes to dive into her heart.
As at plays, masks, great feasts and banquets, one singles out his wife to
dance, another courts her in his presence, a third tempts her, a fourth
insinuates with a pleasing compliment, a sweet smile, ingratiates himself
with an amphibological speech, as that merry companion in the [6115]
Satirist did to his Glycerium, [6116]adsidens et interiorem palmam
amabiliter concutiens,
Quod meus hortus habet sumat impune licebit,
Si dederis nobis quod tuus hortus habet;
with many such, &c., and then as he saith,
[6117]She may no while in chastity abide.
That is assaid on every side.
For after al great feast, [6118]Vino saepe suum nescit amica virum. Noah
(saith [6119]Hierome) showed his nakedness in his drunkenness, which for
six hundred years he had covered in soberness. Lot lay with his daughters
in his drink, as Cyneras with Myrrha,—[6120]quid enim Venus ebria
curat? The most continent may be overcome, or if otherwise they keep bad
company, they that are modest of themselves, and dare not offend,
confirmed by [6121]others, grow impudent, and confident, and get an ill
habit.
[6122]Alia quaestus gratia matrimonium corrumpit,
Alia peccans multas vult morbi habere socias.
Or if they dwell in suspected places, as in an infamous inn, near some
stews, near monks, friars, Nevisanus adds, where be many tempters and
solicitors, idle persons that frequent their companies, it may give just
cause of suspicion. Martial of old inveighed against them that
counterfeited a disease to go to the bath; for so, many times,
Conjuge Penelope venit, abit Helene.
Aeneas Sylvius puts in a caveat against princes' courts, because there be
tot formosi juvenes qui promittunt, so many brave suitors to tempt, &c.
[6123]If you leave her in such a place, you shall likely find her in
company you like not, either they come to her, or she is gone to them.
[6124]Kornmannus makes a doubting jest in his lascivious country,
Virginis illibata censeatur ne castitas ad quam frequentur accedant
scholares? And Baldus the lawyer scoffs on, quum scholaris, inquit,
loquitur cum puella, non praesumitur ei dicere, Pater noster, when a
scholar talks with a maid, or another man's wife in private, it is presumed
he saith not a pater noster. Or if I shall see a monk or a friar climb up
a ladder at midnight into a virgin's or widow's chamber window, I shall
hardly think he then goes to administer the sacraments, or to take her
confession. These are the ordinary causes of jealousy, which are intended
or remitted as the circumstances vary.
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